I’ll Only Let You Down
Life would be beautiful if we only let it…
We battle other people because we perpetually battle ourselves and get sick of always losing and winning at the same time; how can you lose and win at the same time? If every action has an equal and opposite reaction, will I eventually battle myself into oblivion? I suppose that could be called ‘aging’.

If I find a way to win or lose all of the time against myself and thereby stop the canceled outcome… will I live forever? Is that the answer to immortality?

Such things I am in the midst of contemplating and am interrupted. It is a welcome interruption, though. Without it I may toil away in my own thoughts for the remainder of the afternoon. My imagination has run wild. I’ve lost the reigns - no - I threw them away and am laughing, happily riding this thing bareback! Gleeful, my eyes stinging and watering but only from the wind caused by my velocity. Where will I end up? I have no idea… but it will be glorious. XOXO. To be continued.

….but it will be glorious. I almost forgot how nice it is to be able to read the amount of blog views I have had. 23 isn’t bad for a couple of hours passing. I almost feel bad for not having posting something more interesting. Nudie pics anyone? Hit me up lol. Recicpes? I’ll hook you up with my mamacita. Geriatric porn? My grandma is hawt; I’ll hook you up. For now, you’ll have to settle on my eccentric thoughts if you choose to keep reading. Pre-emptive thanks to the poor souls who stick with the blog post. <3.

Aging. Immortality. Compliments. Expectations. Failure. Success. Perception.

Use your perception to build me up higher than I ever asked to be lifted... leave me up in the clouds on my perch. I'm too far away to relate to you or anyone else, but you expect me to answer your questions about life. I saved your life with my words... with my presence... with my advice or just by being here. You compliment me for it and force me to build up my own expectation of myself. No, no one expects me to do anything outwardly but myself. The things that no one will claim to have as expectations in the first place are the things that ruin us. Those expectations... those assumptions made. Assumptions that made us fail in the past, are steering us toward a crash now and will walk us away from the wreckage in the future. We'll sit down in a new car and hold our heads. Find new reasons to compliment each other. 'You were so strong ____________'. Without you _____________'.

Then, we'll lift our heads and start the new car and steer it toward the inevitable car crash... because the handbook that we learned to drive out of is full of expectations, assumptions and one liners. Pop song lyrics, sitcom quotes and romantic comedy scenes fill the pages and we commit them to memory in hopes that they will arm us with the knowledge to remain safe out on the road.

The framework is wrong. The skeleton that is holding us up is more than disjointed - it's imaginary - it's fake! The more I try to wake up and shake off my dreams or nightmares, the more I feel like I am in one.