I have been called a hippie for as long as I can remember. Somehow I think it all started back in high school. Why? I have no idea. I mean I kind of went along with because I was all, “Oh, fun loving, peace hugging, laid back….naturalist?”  Wrong. I didn’t start to dislike the idea of people calling me a hippie until I befriended some of them. I don’t have a problem with them, per say. I just don’t want to be put in the same category as them.

Have you ever met a REAL hippie? I mean, they’re dirty! No, I don’t mean the kind that just dress up like one, smoke a lot of weed, and call themselves a hippy. I mean, you talk like a duck and you act like a duck, so you must be a duck… right? Wait a second. Let me check *looks around* Wait, ducks have tails, right? Ha Ha. Nope I’m not a duck.

So, what types of hippies are left in this ‘modern world’ that we live in? I mean, it’s not the hippie revolution anymore. That was decades ago. So, what other kind of hippie besides the duck tail-less one could this Gorgeous Hussy possibly be talking about? Well, I will tell you.

YOU MIGHT BE A HIPPIE IF…..

  • Your hair contains a fully functional Eco-system. -> NO
  • Don’t take a bath or shower very often. -> NO
  • You live in a place with more than 10 people living with you (like a commune). ->NO
  • Wear clothes that are 2 times larger than your actually size. ->NO
  • You wear tie-dyed t-shirts (”Deadheads”). -> I only have one but never wear it. ->NO
  • You haven’t had your hair cut in years. ->NO. Every ten weeks or so.
  • You think taking a “trip” doesn’t involve geographical travel. ->NO
  • You go to an outdoor concert, take clothes off, “trip” on drugs, and get soaked in the rain (and you think all that is the greatest fun in your life). à Definitely not. NO
  • Your child is named after a celestial object. -> NO
  • Breaking up with your girlfriend leaves you homeless. ->NO (side note: this also applies to musicians, specifically bassists)
  • You carry a picture of Gandhi in your wallet. ->Although he is a bad ass. NO (does not apply to Dinosaur comics carried in wallets)
  • You’re at a funeral and you light a joint after the eulogy. ->Maybe, if it was someone I was really close with. Otherwise.-> NO
  • You’re at a wedding and light a joint after the ceremony. -> NO
  • You don’t object to being labeled a hippie. -> NO!! I object! Why else would I write this blog?
  • There are people you consider family and you don’t even know their last name. -> NO
  • Half your furniture is bean bags. à NO
  • Out of habit, you pass your cigarette to whoever’s sitting next to you. -> NO
  • You roll perfect cigarettes. ->
  • You’re still waiting for those flashbacks. ->NO
  • People you never met before ask if you can get them some weed. ->NO

Now, I obviously do not fit the bill. So, why call me a hippie? I am pretty straight laced. Shower on a regular basis. Like I previously stated above; I have nothing against hippies. In fact, I have a lot of hippie friends. I just don’t want to be categorized in the same group as them.